Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
