I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
