he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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