too bad you live with your parents still
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize