dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
