The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
