what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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