your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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