How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
