We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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