The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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