Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
