Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
