god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
