And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Can I color on your dick again?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
