i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
