you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
