hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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