Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
