If that was your dad, he is hot
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
