I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
