Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
