A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
