some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
