I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
