You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
