I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
