Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
