It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
