someone threw a dead crab at me
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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