Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
