we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
COCAINE IS GR8
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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