playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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