small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
