There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
