Where did you get a picture of my penis
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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