it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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