its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
