Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
