fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Randomize
