My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
