I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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