yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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