Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
