i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
His nipple licking is glorious
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