Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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