I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
