yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
