was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
