i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
even my farts smell like vagina
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
