We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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