i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
